Why Give? (Part One)

Giving.  It’s one of the most basic acts we perform each and every day, in varying degrees of greatness.  But why do we give?  Is it simply from habit?  Or is there a greater reason behind the gift?

For me, the motivator in giving has to be unconditional love.  This is a phrase that I use almost to the point of exhaustion in my conversations; almost to the point that the words lose their spark.  I find that sometimes, my giving loses that same spark as well.  When I begin to feel as if I’m just going through the motions of giving, I have to stop and remind myself of what those two words truly mean, and how they’ve encouraged my giving.

As a child, I could easily identify unconditional love – that’s how my parents loved me.  I knew that when I colored on the walls as a toddler, when accidentally left the freezer door open as a kid (spoiling pounds upon pounds of flash frozen beans and corns, and flooding the garage), and especially when I backed into the mailbox as a teenager…my parents would be upset, but they still loved me.  They loved me regardless of what I’d done.  As I became older, I found myself feeling that same type of love for others.  There were times in my life I wouldn’t have had the words or knowledge to explain why I felt that love, but it was there, like a warm hearth in my heart…glowing, and waiting to be kindled.

As I grew in my faith, and found the answers to that love, I knew it needed to be shared.

Unconditional love is the great motivator to giving.  Our giving comes from the love God has for us.  Never in all the world has there ever been, or ever will be, a love as great as His.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…” John 3:16

A scripture many of us know by heart; probably one of the very first memorized by most of us.  But have you ever stopped to consider those words, and that love?  A love so all-consuming and powerful, that God was willing to send his Son to die for us?  There are times I find myself dizzy just trying to wrap my head around such an idea.  If God loves us so very much, isn’t it not just our duty, but our joy, to return that very same love?

“This is my command: Love each other.” – John 15:17

The answer is, emphatically, YES!  Yes, we are to return that love to everyone we encounter.  As followers of Christ, we are called to give that unconditional love.  Love, like giving, isn’t an obligation.  Not a task to be checked off the to-do list, not an accomplishment for the day.  Love and giving are part of our lives, a daily act.  Second nature.

On those days where I question why I’m giving, or when the giving begins to feel rote and routine, I hear those six important words in my head, “For God so loved the world…” And instantly, the spark becomes a burning fire in my heart.

God Wants Your Junk!

“But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and now is found.” – Luke 15:32 (The Parable of the Lost Son)

A few days ago, I was listening to the radio and one of my favorite songs came on: “By Your Side” by Tenth Avenue North.  I have always been someone who found deeper meaning in music, and related to it on an emotional level.  As I grew in my faith, and began getting involved in music again, I came to realize what a powerful and organic form of worship it is for me.

This is a song I’ve heard a thousand times on the radio, the internet, even live and in person a few months ago…but for some reason on this particular afternoon, the lyrics really struck me.  Here’s the opening verse:

Why are you striving these days?

Why are you trying to earn grace?

Why are you crying?  Let me life up your face,

just don’t turn away.

At our Christmas Eve service, a brief video was used that demonstrated reasons folks avoid going to church.  The video had a voiceover of someone providing an excuse, and then a live shot of a person giving their retort.  The reasons ranged from the very comical – “Doesn’t church have a dress code?” with the response, “Yes – wear CLOTHES” to the more serious.  There was one particular “excuse” that reached me in the same way as the lyrics from the song:

Excuse: “I can’t go to church until I get my life together.”

            Response: “Church is how I got my life together.”

I can recall a time in my life where I was in that very pair of shoes…feeling as if I were inadequate to be in God’s presence, as if I weren’t good enough to be worshiping, as if people would stare at me, somehow knowing my deepest darkest regrets, secrets and sins.  I felt that I needed an invitation to come back to His flock, and until I’d earned that right, earned His grace, I would be better off just staying at home.  The feeling of needing to "prove" myself was always there, and it took some soul searching for me to finally get past that.

The truth is this…God knows everything - and not just the “big” stuff.  He knows how many stars are in the sky, but he also knows exactly what you had for breakfast.  Now ponder over that for a second...if God knows you had half a grapefruit and scrambled egg whites at 6:30am, then binged on two bowls of Fruity Pebbles at 10am…don’t you think He already knows about all the other junk in your life?  God knows it all.  He knows about your lies, your gossiping, your addictions, your mean thoughts.  The Big Guy knows the things that you’ve never even told a soul.  To Him, your life is an open book, and he’s read every chapter – twice.

Years ago, the thought of God knowing about all the junk I’d had in my life literally made me cringe; I felt ashamed, I felt embarrassed, and I felt unworthy.  I couldn’t imagine how God could want me anywhere near His house, in His presence, but I came back anyway because deep down I just knew something was missing from my life.  Trepidation be damned, I was joining the flock again.

And as I continued to grow in my faith life and learn more about God, I realized that everyone has junk.  And you know what?  God loves us anyway.  God loves you even though you lied to your mom about where you were last night.  God loves you even though you cheated on your SATs.  God loves you even when you just can’t stop gambling.  God loves you even though you blew this week’s paycheck on booze.  God even loves you when you call your evil cousin-in-law one of those non-Methodist words because she criticized your semi-burned brownies.

The best part?  Even though it hurts God to see his children do these things, He still wants you to come home – no permission slip or invitation required.  Know why?  Because Jesus already paid the price for us.  All you need to do is accept Him as your Savior, and ask for forgiveness (and mean it) and you’re home.  No grounding, no digging ditches, no 500 word essay…and no more tears.  No more guilt or shame; no more embarrassment, no more sadness.  No more trying to earn what has already been waiting for you.  Leave your burdens at the cross.

Now it sounds simple, but it can be difficult.  While asking for forgiveness is important, the meaning it is pivotal.  You need to recognize the bad, and turn away from it.  And it’s not usually an overnight process.  You may need help…talk to God.  Pray.  Meditate.  Be still.  And don’t be afraid to turn to others in our flock (which I now just think of as extended family) for help and support.  We are called to love each other the same way God loves us…unconditionally:

“Let us consider how to spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” – Hebrews 10:24

You are not alone with your junk.  People are messy.  We’re irresponsible, irrational, sometimes inconsiderate, and can be all around difficult sometimes.

We’re going to slip up every once in a while (or many “onces” in a while) but that’s okay.  God knows we aren’t perfect, but we do have a lot of good inside us.  And He knows that by following Him, we can continue cultivating that good stuff…continue growing in love, compassion, caring, sharing.  Then, we can spread that same love and goodness to others who may find their junk just a little too much to deal with.  Bring those lost sheep home, too.

So stop trying to get back in His good graces…you never left them.  Just start really living for Him, each and every single day.  Feel the love. :-)

Accidentally Finding God's Plan

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

In May of 2001, I graduated high school.  In August of that same year, I left the great metropolis of Pahokee and moved an hour east to Palm Beach, attending Palm Beach Atlantic University, majoring in Pre-Law.  It was an exciting and liberating time for a seventeen year old from a very small town.  Six weeks later, my entire life (or what I knew as life at that young age) was turned completely upside down. 

Social life in college is really a funny thing, when you put it on paper.  Here we were: 2,000 strangers thrown together to live, learn, and grow.  You were instant besties with your roomie or suitemate; you were fast friends with your classmates, and close enough with your acquaintances to hop in a car, completely trusting you would arrive to your destination in one piece.  We were young, naïve, and invincible.

In the short span of 15 minutes on the evening of September 12, 2001, we found out we didn’t really know each other, certainly weren’t invincible, and life was incredibly fragile.

That evening, I was involved in what was, to me, a traumatic car accident.  Thankfully no one lost their life, but five lives were changed forever.  Four of us traveled to dinner on a humid night, following a day of brutal September rain – my suitemate and two male friends, the eldest of them driving.  For brevity, I’ll save the details of the accident for another day.  I will say that Fire Rescue did use the Jaws of Life to open Brian’s car, just like opening a tin can with a can opener.  Two of the injured parties, including my suitemate and closest friend at the time, were flown by traumahawk to local hospitals with life threatening injuries.

I suffered a broken pelvis, which would leave me bedridden for a few months, until I was healed enough to begin walking.  Unable to attend school, I was forced to withdraw and move back home.  After healing, I began attending community college, and working at a local insurance agency.  This was definitely not the exciting time I had been planning for months and months during my senior year of high school.

Because I was a semester behind when I finally started school, I was challenged to complete my Associate’s Degree in 18 months.  Meeting this goal allowed me to graduate on time, and move to Fort Myers.

In May of 2003, I moved to Fort Myers.  Six weeks later, my life was again changed forever, but this time, no broken bones were involved – I met the man who would later become my husband.

Looking back, those months after the accident were painful, both physically and emotionally.  I was incredibly angry at God for uprooting me from what I thought was my path in life.  I felt as if one of those all-important life experiences had been stolen from me.  I would never join a sorority, attend college ball games at my own school, or experience dorm life.  I had lost a group of friends, people I would periodically touch base with for a few months after, but eventually lose contact with completely.  No reunions, no “old college buddies” to reminisce with or vacation with, no stories to share with my children or grandchildren when they became college freshmen some day.

By now, you’re probably wondering when the “God’s Plan” stuff is going to kick in…well, here it is.  I can say now, over ten years later, that being involved in that accident put me on a course in life that I never would have otherwise attained.  To me, as traumatic as the event was, the accident brought me to the greatest blessings in my life.

If it weren’t for the accident, I wouldn’t have moved.  I never would have met Evan, and I cannot fathom life without him.  He is truly my heart and soul, the love of my life, and the most incredible, amazing, funny, clever and handsome man I know (can you see me blushing?)  Without Evan, I never would have moved to Cape Coral, and had we never moved to Cape Coral, we never would have began attending Cape Coral First United Methodist.

When Evan and I began attending CCFUMC, our lives were again changed forever.  There aren’t enough words (actually, there would be too many…) to fill this post with the wonderful, wonderful blessings we have received since attending.  The friends and family we’ve made; the ministries we’ve joined and the small groups and Bible studies we’ve learned so much from.  Our faith has grown tremendously.  Our bond has strengthened a thousand times over.  Our church is the most amazing place on earth – yes, even better than Disney Land!

This is how I know God has a plan.  After the accident, I was lost and confused, hurt and angry, scared and unsure of what the future held.  But, God knew.  He knew exactly where I needed to be, and what I needed to do.  He laid the stepping stones for my next journey in life, and brought me to where I am today.  And while I may have given up my dream of becoming an attorney, I have found myself in a career I love (and I wholeheartedly believe the accident, and learning the value of uninsured motorist coverage, brought me here).  I may never have experienced dorm life or college buddies, but I’ve made friendships here that far exceed what I may have found in those four or six years.  I was blessed enough to meet my soul mate, and our faith was changed in a way that only God can do.

I can honestly tell you that I cannot imagine my life being anymore perfect, happy, full of love and laughter, or joyful than it is right now.  God knew exactly what He was doing.

Life isn’t always easy.  You’ll have some incredible highs, and some tumultuous lows.  But it’s true, God never gives you more than you can handle.  God gives us mountains to climb, but he also gives us the strength to climb them…and you can’t dance on the mountaintop without first walking through the valley below.  When you’re faced with challenges, adversity, fear, trauma or tragedy…just hang on, and know that God is taking care of you, guiding you, comforting you, and giving you peace. 

The Big Guy always has your back, and knows exactly where you're going.

Jesus is not Your Maid

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33

When I was a child, we had a housekeeper named Helen.  She spent three days a week at our house, and the other two at my grandmother’s house.  Helen would clean, do laundry, run errands…the things that needed to be done to keep a house in order.  In my very young mind, I simply thought of Helen as a maid.

I didn’t see Helen much during the school year; she would arrive after I’d already hopped on the bus, and she was gone before I got home.  But during the summer, I would see Helen on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  I didn’t pay her much attention, except when it was time for lunch (peanut butter and jelly with the crust cut off, thank you).  After finishing my sandwich, and two episodes of “I Love Lucy” that aired each day during the lunch hour (that’s how I fell in love!) I went back to my world of My Little Ponies and coloring.

Helen would usually straighten up my room in the morning, which meant by the afternoon, I had already destroyed most of her hard work.  It wasn’t that I didn’t care; I was just so accustomed to Helen cleaning things up, the thought never crossed my mind to help her out, or to be more respectful of my belongings.

One afternoon, Helen finally reached the point of saying something.  She had just finished my laundry, and upon reaching the top of the stairs and peering into my room, a great sigh of exhaustion escaped.  “Kristin, I don’t know what you do in the few hours after I’ve finished.  In all my life, I have never, ever seen a room this messy!”  And that was it.  She put away my laundry, and went back downstairs.

A feeling of guilt and shame washed over me, as I scanned the room and the destruction left in my wake.  Crayons everywhere.  Dozens upon dozens of Barbies and My Little Ponies strewn across the floor.  Every piece of costume jewelry my grandmother had given me, along with an extremely large button collection, dumped all over my bed.  You absolutely could not see the floor.

 Helen never said another word to me about my room, but after that afternoon, I made an effort to take better care of my things.  I also started finding other ways around the house to help…cleaning up the kitchen, sweeping the back porch, small chores that I knew would make Helen’s day a little bit easier. 

As an adult reflecting back on those summer months, I realize how many times in life we think of Jesus as just our maid.  We can make a big mess (intentionally or unintentionally), and just expect that we can walk away, and He’ll clean it up for us – with no effort on our part.  After days, weeks, months or even years of living in the “mess”, with no end in sight, we can grow frustrated, not understanding why the Big Guy isn’t doing his “job.”

 
Helen wasn’t really a maid; she was our housekeeper.  The same goes for God.  He’s not your maid, sitting in wait for a foxhole prayer so he can jump in and save the day.  This isn’t to say that God doesn’t do those things, because He surely does, but it’s not how we should be living our lives.  We can’t have total disregard for our “house” and expect him to step in and tidy up for us when the pictures are falling of the mantel and the dust bunnies are taking over the living room.
 
God is your housekeeper – the keeper of your house.  God has given you life, blessed you with “things” that are not yours to keep (for we are not of this world).  Our responsibility is to respect these things, take care of these things, and do His work with these things.  We are given the responsibility of using His gifts to us to further His kingdom; witnessing to others, planting seeds of faith, helping those in need (and that means all people – not just the easy ones).  You’ll find that if you follow plan, instead of your own, your house won’t be so messy. 

As intimidating as cleaning up those big messes may seem, don’t wait until the Christmas decorations from 1998 are collapsing the shelves in the garage.  Start your relationship, or begin to deepen your relationship, with God right now.  Know that keeping God at the top of your daily to-do list is the best way to avoid a big mess.  He'll keep your house in order.

New Year's Probablies

"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." - Romans 12:11

As January came to a close, and New Year's Resolutions went seemingly out the window for many folks I know (did you know that on average, most resolutions made on January 1st are broken by January 9th?) I realized how easily I could compare many things in my life to those first few weeks in January.  How many times I've started something - learning to play the piano, not gossiping (even when it's really juicy), cooking a new recipe every day, avoiding a weekly purchase of The Enquirer, spending 15 minutes a day gardening, getting up an extra hour early to pray, etc. - only to have my own personal January 9th come rolling around, just like clockwork.

I have a good friend whose resolution every year is to not make a resolution.  And while the joke gets old (hate to break the news...) I do understand where my friend is coming from, because she knows deep down, she's setting herself up for failure.  I suppose if we substituted another word for "resolution", more people may get on board with making a change or setting a goal.  Maybe we could call them, "New Year's Probablies" or "New Year's Good Ideas" or "New Year's Most Likely to Make it for Six Months, but Not Holding My Breath Until December 31st, Thoughts."

We can put plenty of pressure on ourselves to make those seemingly enormous and life-altering changes (you know, like walking 20 minutes a day).  Keeping your goal realistic, realizing your limitations and recognizing where your struggles will be throughout the year, will help you stay on track.  Another tip I learned from Dr. Oz?  Make yourself accountable by telling someone what your plan is.

One of my "probablies" was to spend more time prayer journaling.  When I started (on January 4th - better late than never, right?) I realized how much my prayer journaling was turning into a devotional.  This brought to mind the New Year's Probably from mid-2009 - blogging my devotionals.  I had completely fallen off the writing daily wagon, choosing to fill some of that spare time with things like "Toddlers and Tiaras" and painting my toenails.  Ugh.  The guilt was as heavy as making the third round of Thanksgiving dinners.  I knew it was time to work towards my goal again, and make myself more accountable for what I'd promised God.

So, here we are, February 2nd, and I'm getting on track.  Does God mind that I'm late?  Of course not; He doesn't care when you get back on track - just that you get there.  And more importantly...stay there.

While many of my probablies will end up just that (I heard the snickers and my plan to jog 1,000 miles in 2012), I have decided to keep the phrase "resolution" for this one.  God wants my resolve in sharing my faith, encouraging others, and being His hands and feet.  So think of this as my 2012 kick-off memo...a promise of more to come. :)

PS - Please take a moment to read through my older stuff.  Newer devos will be posted soon!