I have heard it said many times after someone has endured a difficult time in life that those challenges are, “what made them today.” This is a statement that I wholeheartedly believe. It is absolutely true, at least in my book, that overcoming obstacles, facing tragedy, withstanding trials, are things that will shape and mold us into people who are not only stronger in the face of adversity, but stronger in our faith.
But, as I’ve journeyed through life, I’ve found something
else to be entirely true…that sometimes our circumstances arise by choice, and
not by fate. And sometimes those
circumstances didn’t necessarily help you
to become who you are…they’ve actually delayed
you from becoming the person God intended you to be.
A while back, I briefly wrote about the car accident I was
involved in, and how I came to the understanding that God truly had a plan for
me. And although I did express the anger
I initially felt towards God for seemingly derailing the plan that I had for my life, what I failed to include was how far from God I allowed my
own choices to take me.
Dealing with such a heavy blow did leave me angry and
confused, not understanding why things didn’t just “fall into place” the way I’d
had my heart set on. Because I carried
this anger and hurt, I found myself in a dark place. For a brief while, I found myself making
choices that today, as an adult, terrify me.
I fell in with the wrong crowd, and I let those people bring me
down. I had total disregard for how my
actions and words may hurt my family, my friends, and myself. I didn’t care if anyone worried about me; I was
going to do what I wanted to, no matter what.
And while I felt happy (or the illusion of happiness) most of the time,
when I was alone, I felt emptiness. I’d
spent all this time filling the void with the world, and I’d left no room for
God. Once I realized that the pain and
hurt remained, I began to understand that the void I was feeling was the result
of my poor choices…and I knew that I had to regain the personal relationship
with God that I’d so carelessly tossed aside.
For a long time, a carried a fair amount of guilt and shame for
some of those choices I’d made. I had a
difficult time believing God still loved and forgave me after what I’d put Him
through. And I felt an incredible
sadness when I thought about the amount of time I’d missed spending with God
because I’d had my own agenda. He wanted
better for me.
Things happen that are out of our control…the death of a
loved one, the loss of a friendship, a tragic accident, mental or physical
abuse, addictions…and we can all relate in some way to many of these
situations. As Christians, we’re here to
love and support each other during these times.
Sometimes we let these unforeseeable and uncontrollable circumstances
get the best of us; we cope on our own, only to find that these choices lead us
into another place of despair and anguish.
It isn’t God’s will to see you in pain, to cause suffering
or hurt. When we find ourselves in those
dark moments, where turning to the world for relief instead of turning to God
seems like the best option…stop.
Remember how much He loves and cares for you, that He has always been
right by your side, and that He’s made sacrifices and suffered through
difficult times (Jesus, anyone?) just as we are. But it does
get better, and you will
overcome. Keep God first and foremost,
and lean on your Christian family…and everything else will (eventually) fall
into place. We are strong when we lean
on God.
There are still moments where even now, ten years later, I’ll
feel a twinge of anxiety…but those days are few and far between. I have finally understood that with God, we
really can overcome anything…from severe tragedy to our own simple, stupid
mistakes.
And maybe things won’t turn out the way you’d hoped or
planned…but just remember, God’s plan for your life is so much more than you
could have imagined.
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